(SCA version)
Scadian Paradise
(SCA version)
Original: Coolio
New Lyrics (based on Wierd Al's version): Valeria Asgautr
As I walk through the list field, heralds calling my name
They take a look at my sword and realise it's very plain
But that's just perfect for a stick-jock like me
Because I'll win many titles, like my Viscounty
At 4:30 in the morning I head to bed
Tired from the hangover that fills my head...fool
And I've been fightin and drinking so long
That even my own Lady thinks my mind is gone
I'm a man of rattan, I'm into tournaments
Got my shield in my hand and my helm on my head
But if I finish my fights and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party likes it's 1399
CHORUS:
We been spending most our lives, living in a Scadian Paradise
I've broke my bones, once or twice, living in a Scadian Paradise
It's duct tape and sacrifice, living in a Scadian Paradise
She sews garb and me I fight, living in a Scadian Paradise
A local knight kicked my armoured but last week
I just smiled at him then I whacked his beak
I really didn't care and I wished him well
But I'll be laughing my head off when I'm KING of the realm
But I ain't never punched a Marshall even if he deserved it
A Scadian being rude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear ruffles and I have a cool hat
And the Laurels agree, I look good in black...fool
Why not come and visit and go back in years
Visit Kings and Queens, until reality nears
'Cuz it's all very quaint, some people point and stare
You'd think they were historically impaired
There's some songs, some fights, some Royalty
The wonderful Nobility
There's Tempus and his garments
They're as gaudy as can be
(CHORUS)
Taping up the rattan, putting on the armour
Slayed a foe on Monday, soon I'll slay another
Think I'm really righteous, think I'm pure of heart
Well I know I'm a million times as skillful as thou art
I'm the fighting guy the little squires want to be like
On my knees, day and night, scoring points, gonna be a Knight
So don't be mean nor call me shiny
Or else my brother, I might have to get medieval on your hynie
(CHORUS)
